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Gonna tell you a story 'bout Sometimes Jones
Blood & guts & skin & bones
& all he was, was justa thief
But the things he stole were beyond belief
He stole the statues from the park
Stole the cross from Joan of Arc
Stole the crown off'a King Tut's head
Curse your God & rob your dead
Born in Chicago on Avenue "B"
Learned how to steal on his grandaddy's knee
His daddy sent a message from cell block "C"
Said, "if you get caught, boy, don't depend on me
Steal the pennies off a dead man's eyes
Swear to the truth on a stack of lies
All dressed up in his disguise:
Jeans, high-tops & big brown eyes
Steal your woman & your guitar
Steal your stool at your favorite bar
Eight ball, straight ball, spot you ten
One hand, blind fold, & do it again
He knows the moves & he moves real quick
Keeps a real loose tool, shoots a cool pool stick
Steal the wheels off'a police cars
Lives on women & candy bars
Liar, cheater, lock defeater
Break your pants & steal your heater
Practiced hard & watched his health
Got so good he stole from himself
Deals from the bottom with his back to the wall
Throws his money to the wind & the finger to you all
Wheels by day & he steals by night
He's the alley cat's shadow & the ladies delight
Hocked his grandma & sold her brace
Get the gold outta your grinnin' face
Gonna get into Heaven, don't bother to lock it
Gonna talk to the Lord & pick his pocket
A real living legend is Sometimes Jones
Blood, guts, skin & bones
All he was, was just a thief,
But the things he stole were beyond belief
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